Just Call Me Yenta*

*Fiddler on the Roof's Matchmaker

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.
Find me a find, catch me a catch.
Matchmaker, matchmaker, look through your book
And make me a perfect match.

*************
Yenta's response:
Did you think you'd get a prince?
Well I do the best I can.
With no dowry, no money, no family background,
Be glad you got a man!

I would make a great Matchmaker! Well, maybe not. My recent attempt at matchmaking didn't go so well. See Jaek's Post-Mind Meld. But it isn't my fault. How was I to know she liked older men? Hmmm... she never did say HOW OLD? I went that route a couple times. Interesting stories could be told about them.

I know what makes a good marriage and what makes a bad marriage. I've had both. Not in that order, switch them around! Although it wasn't a bad marriage, it just wasn't a very good one. The best thing about the first marriage is my two kids! The worst, well---- can't say, enough said.

This marriage is good. Twenty-two years good. I know what makes a marriage good. Trust, communication and teamwork. Of course, being friends helps a lot, too. My Polish Prince can be a real asshole at times, but then I can be a real Bitch, too. We have had our ups and downs, a rollercoaster ride at times, but oh, what a thrilling ride it's been!

The TCT is the most important. You can't base a relationship on looks. Looks change. Oh, gawd how do looks change! Asshole moment: while looking at a picture of me when I was younger and a whole lot thinner, he says, "Oh, this was when you were young and pretty." Ouch! I know he doesn't say it to be mean, he just said it without thinking! You can't base a relationship on sex. That changes, too. My ex Father-in-law said it best, "What we use to do all night, now takes us all night to do". And that ain't a bad thing!

The most important thing is LOVE. But that's one thing which just happens or it doesn't happen. You can't make it happen. Why people love who they do, is a mystery to me. My Mother always said, "Love goes where it will, even if it's up a hog's ass!" She spoke from experience. Love doesn't always mean you like the person. My Mother knew that from experience. She also knew there is a fine line between love and hate and after 42 years of marriage, that line was crossed. I don't know if she actually hated my Father, but she certainly didn't love him or like him!

Trust is the most important. Not just trust as in fidelity, but trust that the other person always has your best interests at heart. Trust that no matter what you do, the other person will always love you.

Communication is so important. "I'm not a damn mind-reader! Talk to me!", was heard frequently in the early days. Now he'd rather I keep my opinions to myself (just kidding).

Teamwork doesn't mean always do everything together. Or even agreeing with each other 100 per cent of the time. It means working together to make the best of your relationship. It also covers... I won't ask him to do the laundry if he doesn't ask me to mow the lawn, but I'll hold the board while he nails it.

Matchmaker, matchmaker, plan me no plans.
I'm in no rush. maybe I've learned
Playing with matches a girl can get burned.
So bring me no ring, groom me no groom,
Find me no find, catch me no catch.
Unless he's a matchless match!