Dialects are hard to write and harder to read, but this one jes e'nt da same widout the dialect.
Heading down to Florida. Signs along the way "Boiled Peanuts". Eeuuw, sounds gross. Had to stop...not for the peanuts...mechanical problems. My Man had to put a doo-hickey on the thingamajig. While waiting for him, My Sister and I went into a shop to browse.
There by the counter was a sign that read "Boiled Peanuts". I just had to ask about this local flava.
Me: "So what are Boiled Peanuts? Are they any good?"
(Toothless, well almost...he did have a couple teeth on the bottom, paunchy southern hillbilly wearing a t-shirt which had seen better days or maybe years...which showed off his hairy belly, his pants riding on the hips below his hairy belly... let's just call him BPG for Boiled Peanuts Guy)
BPG: "Wah-el l l, lat me tell yah."
(Very s-l-o-w, long drawn out dra-awl)
My Sister and I look (gawk) at him ... waiting... waiting
BPG: "Wah-el l l, hev yah evah hed craw-w-wfish?"
Me: "No, can't say that I have."
BPG: "Wah-el l l, thays doan't tess like craw-w-wfish."
My Sister and I look at each trying hard not to bust a gut. Look back at BPG.
BPG: "Wah-el l l, let me tells ya. Some yars back, thays tried ta get me ta et some craw-w-wfish. Thays says thet da mo-ar yah et, da bettah day tess. An' da mo-ar be-ah yah drinks, da bettah day tess."
(pause...pause... deep breath...)
BPG: "Wah-el l l, Ah doan't drinks be-ah [sister and I do a fast double-take to each other] so Ah jes kep etting dem dare craw-w-wfish. Da mo-ar Ah et, da bettah dey tess. So... boiled peanuts is jes like dem dare craw-w-wfish. Da mo-ar ya et, da bettah dey tess."
So My Sister, Baby Son and I each bought a container of boiled peanuts. I could NOT imagine them tasting good no matter how many of them I ate, but it was a challenge we couldn't turn down.
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere in particular (Georgia), the motorhome breaks down. We (as in My Man driving and me telling him where to go) limp it into a town which, thank goodness, has a NAPA store. My Man, using their tools outside the garage door out back, fixes whatever whatchamallcallit broke. My Sister, Baby Son and I wait inside the sweltering hot motorhome trying to amuse ourselves.
Dum de dum dum... Hey! Let's try our boiled peanuts! With much trepidation, we begin eating them. Ummm....well... not too bad. One followed by two, followed by three, etc etc.
Omigosh! "Da mo-ar ya ets, da bettah dey tess!"
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5 comments:
I've always said that I would try almost anything at least once. That's why I can say I've had snails in Germany and goat in Bosnia. That being said, I would be reluctant to purchase anything not a national name brand by a toothless "yokel".
How did the toothless man eat the boiled peanuts? Are they soft?
Jaek: But they're peanuts! Would you eat a whole bag of peanuts in the shell? Again?
Only Daughter: Yes, they are soft. They soak in a brine of sorts. It reminds me of the liquid in a can of kidney beans (I love the juice in the them). I don't know if he ate as many peanuts as he did crawfish.
LOL. Wisdom comes from unexpected places. I ate escargot (yup, snails) in Paris because, well, I was in Paris! They were actually pretty good, as long as I didn't think about it too much.
Tammara: I had snails once but alas, not in Paris. A local, although fancy schmancy restaurant. They tasted like dirty, gritty mushrooms. Love mushrooms, snails...NOT!
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