Friday, July 21, 2006

Thank You, My Friend... Kathy

My home life wasn't the greatest when I was a kid (another story, another time) so I didn't stick around the house much. If I wasn't at the McClains, I was at the Berends'. Deb's parents worked during the day. Rule was: no company and chores had to be done. Both rules got broke a few times, but usually I hung out next door until one of the parents got home.

The parents at the Berends' house weren't home much but that was because of work and they owned a tavern Up North. How cool is that? They were also building a house up there. Kathy, being the oldest daughter became the Caretaker in their absence. She is about 6 or 7 years older than me, but there wasn't much of a generation gap. Char is closer in age but we never connected on the same level. Doug and I had an on-again-off-again relationship for a few years. We always were friends. Okay, not always. When he was seeing Linda Osborne, I really didn't like him. Yet he was the one who introduced me to my First Real Love (Craig). Then there was Duane, my buddy! My mom called him The Retard but it was with affection. He was so crazy and funny. He could do stand-up comedy at age 11. He had several routines which would just have me rolling in the aisles. My favorite is...."Deep in the heart of the jungle you can hear the sounds of the constipated ape...Unnnhhh!" Guess you had to be there. Marvin, was the little brother. He didn't really hang out with us, but we all looked out for him. Oh, yeah... brother Ray... didn't see a whole lot of him, but for a while I had a secret crush on him. Older brother Gary was married to Cheri and they had a little girl... Debbie.

In the early years, Char shared her dating experiences with me. The best was "the twins - Char & Dar". Then along came Mike and that was it for her. Kathy was dating a guy named... Si? Sid? Crappola! I can't remember his name! Probably because I didn't like him (sorry Kath, but I didn't). Then along came Ed. I remember Heath bars were given out at their reception. Deb and I liked to share Heath bars... she ate the chocolate off the outside and I at the toffee part! I gave them purple bath towels for a wedding gift... purple was her favorite color!

Kathy and Ed stayed in the house and the rest of the family moved Up North. I still visited Kathy on a regular basis. I was able to talk to her about anything and everything. And she listened! She offered advice occasionally, but mostly listened. She was always there for me. When my brother was killed in a car accident, my parents had to go to Petoskey. I was left in the care of my sister and her husband. She was close in age to him so she took it really hard. She couldn't offer me any solace so I went to Kathy. I was 14 and had lost my big brother, my hero! I close my eyes and I can still feel the comfort of her embrace. I would have totally fell apart if it wasn't for her. Thank you, my friend!

My mother never drove a day in her life. She had to rely on others for transportation. When I was 16 my dad wasn't around much. Hunting or fishing or drinking or in jail (because of drunk driving). Kathy drove my mom to the store quite a bit. My mother was looking forward to the time when I had my driver's license so I could drive her around. Unfortunately, my dad refused to take me out driving to fulfill the learner's permit requirements. Kathy and Ed came to the rescue. They took me out driving at night, weekends and any other available time. My driver's training teacher, Mr. Azkoul was a real a**hole! They weren't my parents so it didn't count! My mother was quiet and mild-mannered but let me tell you, when she got through talking to Mr. Azkoul... he was more than willing to sign off on my permit. Yay Mom!

Yes, Kathy (and Ed) were a big influence on my adolescent years. I can't imagine what my life would have been like without them. I haven't seen them in a few years. We've talked a few times over the years. Time and space haven't diminished the love I feel for them or my deep, heartfelt gratitude. Thanks guys! Love you!


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think most kids think that their parent's lives didn't start until they had kids. I love reading about your life before us :) I want to hear more...more about you, about Grandma, about whatever. You write it and I will read it.

Red said...

Hi there, it's Jake's friend Becca. Thank you so much for linking to me! I've been enjoying reading your blog. This entry was very sweet... you should give your old friends the gift of reading what you've written!

MiMaw said...

Only Daughter: Be careful what you ask for! I do love reminiscing about those days.

Red: Thank you for honoring me with a comment (seriously I mean it). I have told Deb and Kathy about these writings. Deb has responded (see Battle of the Minds) but I haven't heard from Kathy... yet.