An Elephant Never Forgets

My best friend's mother has Alzheimer's and had to be put in a nursing home. My kid's Grandmother has dementia and is in a nursing home.

I took care of my mother for 4 months after she was diagnosed with cancer. Physically, she was in a lot of pain but her mind was sharp until the last three days. She retreated to a time when she was the happiest. She was a teenager staying with her aunts; Lillian (Lill) and Lula. She saw me as Lula and my sister as Lill. It hurt that she didn't know who I was, that it was me taking care of her, or that I was the one with her at the end.

So I can imagine how loved ones of Alzheimer patients must feel. I use to say it must be terrible for the person going through it but actually they don't know what they are going through most of the time. It is the family members who suffer the heartbreak of losing a loved one right before their eyes.

Physically...I am a mess. I am overweight (let's call a spade a spade... I am FAT...OBESE!), I have had a heart attack, my hips/legs/ankles/feet hurt like hell 90% of the time and to top it off... I have ACNE! But my mind is sharp and my memory is good... too good at times.

Still, when I lose something I know I should know exactly where it is... I worry. When I see an actor/actress on TV that I recognize but can't think of their name... I worry. When my sister tells me something that happened in the past that she insists I was there or should know the details... I don't worry about me, I worry about her!

Seriously, I am the one everyone asks for past history from... birthdates, marriages, certain incidents... I always have the answer. I am like an elephant - I don't forget. Unfortunately, I remember the unpleasant along with the pleasant. Fortunately, at this stage of my life, the pleasant is far outweighing the unpleasant.

Right now I can remember a half dozen things that happened when I was 4 or 5 years old. I can keep it going through each year of my life. I can remember a lot of good memories of my brother Tim (he was killed in a car accident on June 16, 1968) and I can close my eyes and see his face as clearly as if he was standing before me. I can do the same with my mother. A lot of times I can even hear her talking to me (I know that's not a sign of a good mind...).

I went to my 25 year High School Reunion. Actually, I was one of the main organizers of it and acted as hostess for it. So I went around the room talking to everyone and of course, said on numerous occasions, "Remember when...". Some did, some didn't. Some asked me how I remembered all that stuff! I told them honestly that I didn't know how... I just did.

Seriously, I cherish each and every memory I have. It's like photographs or even a movie in my mind. But then I wonder... am I really remembering it as it happened? Am I remembering what I want to remember? Who cares? For the most part they are enjoyable to revisit and if those others who are involved can't remember it, then who can say if they are real or imagined.