Last Friday night we were suppose to have a family get-together at a local restaurant. My brothers, sister, their families and mine. Instead, the family gathered at a funeral. My nephew died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. He was 39 years old. There is much speculation about his frame of mind and his actions leading up to that point. I don't know if we'll ever know the whole truth. Only God and my nephew know.

I was angry when I first heard the news. Suicide is the coward's way out. It is a selfish act with no thought for those who loved him. That is my opinion. I do not want to argue the point or get into a debate with anyone who has other opinions. Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one and nobody wants another one. I am not angry anymore. It isn't my place to condemn him for his actions. I don't need to know why. It is over and done with. Life is what is important. The lives of those he left behind...family and friends...his beautiful daughters (ages 16 & 17)... will go on.

Family. It is important to me. I am the baby of the family. There are a lot of years between my oldest brother (the father of the nephew) and me... eighteen years! I grew up with my nieces and nephews. By the time I had a family, the family gatherings became few and far between. Whenever we had a party, I invited the whole family. Some showed up, some didn't. One year I had a birthday party for myself and invited the whole family and a bunch of friends. I'll be damned if they all didn't show up! Sure surprised the hell out of me! And it was a good time. We had my mother's photo albums and loose photos of hers and mine. We have a wonderful time looking through the photos... "Omigosh! I remember this!", "Who is this?", "No! It can't be". Memories flooded the room and we all felt the shared love... what family is all about.

So... after the funeral, I kept thinking about how I could get the family all together at my house. We live in a smaller house but it has an indoor-inground heated pool (sounds much more grandiose than it is!). I threw the idea out at the Polish Prince. His response was, "That's an awful lot of people." He's right, as always. The number of people who would be invited ranges around "55". I know not all of them would show up, but there is the distinct possibility a lot of them might.

My brother who died (a car accident) in 1968, left two small boys (ages 4 & 2). The oldest, his namesake, died at the age of 19 (a car accident). His youngest son had a lot of pain and tragedy to deal with (not long after his brother's death, his mother passed away from cancer). He went through a period of recklessness and drugs. He came to my my mother's funeral and looked so lost and sad. Unfortunately, we lost touch with him for awhile. The next time we met up with him, he was a changed man. He was a missionary/minister in Mexico. He married a local woman, had triplet boys and then another boy. Every few years he comes up to Michigan for a visit and we try to get-together with him. A few of us have, not the whole family. This visit, he requested a family get-together with as many of the family as possible. Some of the family he hadn't seen since he was a little boy, so he was really looking forward to it. Instead, he was re-introduced to the family at the funeral of the one he specifically wanted to see. He was the officiating minister.

So, you see, my heart yearned for a family get-together... an informal gathering... a Pool Party. My mind said it was impossible to pull off but my heart kept nagging me. My Sister and her daughter must have received my psychic output. I received an email requesting that I host a party and they would do all they could to help. How could I resist? So, if all works out, a month from today there will be a houseful of people ...living, loving, laughing, sharing memories and making some new ones. Those who have gone on before us... my mother, my father, my brother T, T's wife and son, my nephew, his mother, and his youngest daughter... will be looking on with happiness and love.