Seriously, I have neutralized my home in a last ditch effort to appeal to buyers. I have de-cluttered so the rooms look bigger. Went from a King-size bed to a Queen-size. Left only one chest of drawers and a bedside table. Removed the Polish Princes's comfy recliner, leaving him to sit on the couch. No reclining and relaxing for him! Removed the stereo, the Playstation and end table. Took out corner cabinets and coffee cart out of the kitchen/dining area. Downsized my office, the spare room and the basement.
Painted the rooms neutral colors: such as Cream in my Coffee, Summer Moon and Gray Palisade. Replaced my drapes with with tab-top twill curtains in a linen/khaki shade which can be opened to view the acreage surrounding the house. Covered my lovely floral sofa with a khaki slipcover. A wooden rocker with khaki cushions sits where the recliner used to sit. We replaced the floral rug (which matched my sofa and valances) with a taupe rug. The wood floors were polished to a sheen.
Wallpaper was stripped. Lacy curtains replaced with voile ones and a plain, cream-colored tablecloth rounded out the kitchen/dining area. Speaking of wallpaper, our bedroom was stripped of its wallpaper, painted and plain curtains hung up.
Jaek said the living room looked like it 'lost its soul' and he's right. It is plain and has no character; in other words, it is BLAH!
The housing market in Michigan is devastating. There are too many houses on the market and a depressing number of foreclosures. It is definitely a buyer's market. We have to sell this house. Two mortgages and two sets of utilities is straining our budget beyond belief. We took it off the market for six weeks to revamp and then find a realtor who was willing to work at selling it rather than just list it for the sake of listing it.
We decided to revamp after much discussion. Okay, it was more of a lecture from me telling the Polish Prince that we have to do something to make it more appealing. People who came for showings said the house wasn't modern enough and not decorated to their taste. Of course, his response was, "So buy it, paint it, update it and redecorate it!" To get my point across to him, I made him sit through 3 hours of Sell Your Home. He could not believe people had no imagination to see what could be. And to bring the point all the way home, there was a news blurb about how to sell your home. It stated (paraphrasing) that people nowadays cannot visualize beyond what is there in front of them. The best thing to do is to de-clutter and neutralize everything in sight.
So that is what we have been doing for the past six weeks. And I am tired of it! I have one room to finish - my office - my space. I am procrastinating as much as possible. If I neutralize it, take out all the stuff which makes it mine, I fear I will lose myself.
We contacted a realtor who has been advertising that she has sold 17 houses in 18 weeks and many are sold in 21 to 30 days. Unfortunately, she wanted to drop the price some more. The look of pain on my husband's face scared her for a moment. He believes in buy low and sell high. We have always made a fair amount on the houses we sold (3 to date) so it goes against his nature to getting less than what he feels is his fair share. It took some time to calm him down and show him his way of thinking wouldn't get the house sold.
So, today we signed the papers for this realtor to list it. Jaek's wife will be out tomorrow to take some pictures and by next week we should be busy showing the house to lots of people! Wish us luck!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Fighting Demons in the Bottle
Haven't talked in awhile. Lots of reasons but if I listed them, they would just sound like excuses. So, why now, you ask? I need to release [vent] the emotions, thoughts, and feelings building to an explosive climax [not the good kind].
Alcoholism. Disease? Disorder? Nasty habit? Yes, to all three BUT it depends on the person. Does genetics play a part? An addictive personality? Tolerance level? Upbringing? Or the cliche of the day: Nature vs Nurture? Once again, yes to all but depending on the person. Is there a cure? Can one just rely on willpower to kick the habit? No, to both. Do we love 'em or leave 'em? Love or Tough Love? Force them or coerce them? I honestly don't know the answer to any of those questions.
Where is MiMaw going with this line of questioning? Probably nowhere, but maybe somebody out there has some insight on the subject. My Baby Son is an alcoholic. I have known this for a long time. He has known it but only recently admitted it. Oh, he has said it in the past but he didn't really mean it. He insisted he could get it under control. Which meant to him that he could still drink... in moderation. There is no such thing with an alcoholic. He was doing pretty good for awhile, but life threw him some curve balls and he sought out the Demons in the Bottle. The Demon took hold of him and refused to let go. He hid it and lied through his teeth about it. The Demon dragged him to Hell and was determined to keep him there. For whatever reason, Baby Son decided it was not a place he wanted to be. He called a friend [not on the top of my list, but that is a whole 'nother story]. She is helping him to get into a Rehab Center, helping him through the D.T.'s and keeping me informed. The past is past... she is helping him now and IF she follows through with it... I will be forever grateful.
Why did he not come to his mother for help? He was too ashamed. For lying to me, backsliding and "letting me down". It bothered me at first, but in retrospect it is probably a good thing he didn't come to me in the condition he was in. I grew up with an alcoholic ... a disgusting drunk. Don't get me wrong! I don't have anything against drinking... in moderation. Even tying one on once in awhile is okay as long as there is no driving involved. But when I am around someone who is completely shit-faced, something inside me snaps and I turn cold. If Baby Son would have come to me... I would have no sympathy for him and would have kicked his ass rather than help him. I would not, could not, give him the help he needed. I have been on the phone with him a lot these past few days giving him words of encouragement and telling him how much I love him.
To go back to the opening remarks. Baby Son has a disease. It is genetic. He has an addictive personality and cannot quit on his own. His body cannot tolerate alcohol. My father and grandfather were alcoholics. Baby Son's biological sperm donor was an alcoholic along with other members in that family. Only Daughter gets upset with me when I question what I might have done wrong or could have done differently to prevent it. I know it isn't my fault, but I am his mother so I should have been able to do something to stop it before it got out of hand. Okay! I know that isn't true.
My heart aches. He is hurting so I want to be able to kiss it and make it all better. I cannot. I have tried in the past. He made this decision of his own accord [which is the way it has to happen] and he needs to see it through on his own... for his own sake. All I can do is show my support, love and lots of prayers.
Tomorrow is the day he starts the process of going into Rehab... as long as he doesn't chicken out. Tomorrow he fights the Demon to get out of the bottle.
Alcoholism. Disease? Disorder? Nasty habit? Yes, to all three BUT it depends on the person. Does genetics play a part? An addictive personality? Tolerance level? Upbringing? Or the cliche of the day: Nature vs Nurture? Once again, yes to all but depending on the person. Is there a cure? Can one just rely on willpower to kick the habit? No, to both. Do we love 'em or leave 'em? Love or Tough Love? Force them or coerce them? I honestly don't know the answer to any of those questions.
Where is MiMaw going with this line of questioning? Probably nowhere, but maybe somebody out there has some insight on the subject. My Baby Son is an alcoholic. I have known this for a long time. He has known it but only recently admitted it. Oh, he has said it in the past but he didn't really mean it. He insisted he could get it under control. Which meant to him that he could still drink... in moderation. There is no such thing with an alcoholic. He was doing pretty good for awhile, but life threw him some curve balls and he sought out the Demons in the Bottle. The Demon took hold of him and refused to let go. He hid it and lied through his teeth about it. The Demon dragged him to Hell and was determined to keep him there. For whatever reason, Baby Son decided it was not a place he wanted to be. He called a friend [not on the top of my list, but that is a whole 'nother story]. She is helping him to get into a Rehab Center, helping him through the D.T.'s and keeping me informed. The past is past... she is helping him now and IF she follows through with it... I will be forever grateful.
Why did he not come to his mother for help? He was too ashamed. For lying to me, backsliding and "letting me down". It bothered me at first, but in retrospect it is probably a good thing he didn't come to me in the condition he was in. I grew up with an alcoholic ... a disgusting drunk. Don't get me wrong! I don't have anything against drinking... in moderation. Even tying one on once in awhile is okay as long as there is no driving involved. But when I am around someone who is completely shit-faced, something inside me snaps and I turn cold. If Baby Son would have come to me... I would have no sympathy for him and would have kicked his ass rather than help him. I would not, could not, give him the help he needed. I have been on the phone with him a lot these past few days giving him words of encouragement and telling him how much I love him.
To go back to the opening remarks. Baby Son has a disease. It is genetic. He has an addictive personality and cannot quit on his own. His body cannot tolerate alcohol. My father and grandfather were alcoholics. Baby Son's biological sperm donor was an alcoholic along with other members in that family. Only Daughter gets upset with me when I question what I might have done wrong or could have done differently to prevent it. I know it isn't my fault, but I am his mother so I should have been able to do something to stop it before it got out of hand. Okay! I know that isn't true.
My heart aches. He is hurting so I want to be able to kiss it and make it all better. I cannot. I have tried in the past. He made this decision of his own accord [which is the way it has to happen] and he needs to see it through on his own... for his own sake. All I can do is show my support, love and lots of prayers.
Tomorrow is the day he starts the process of going into Rehab... as long as he doesn't chicken out. Tomorrow he fights the Demon to get out of the bottle.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Hibernation
Gonna be a bear....
In this life, I'm a woman. In my next life I want to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
In this life, I'm a woman. In my next life I want to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're suppose to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.
If you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake up to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business! You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too. I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS you to have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup, gonna be a bear!
Excuse while I go back to sleep!
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