Last Friday night we were suppose to have a family get-together at a local restaurant. My brothers, sister, their families and mine. Instead, the family gathered at a funeral. My nephew died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. He was 39 years old. There is much speculation about his frame of mind and his actions leading up to that point. I don't know if we'll ever know the whole truth. Only God and my nephew know.
I was angry when I first heard the news. Suicide is the coward's way out. It is a selfish act with no thought for those who loved him. That is my opinion. I do not want to argue the point or get into a debate with anyone who has other opinions. Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one and nobody wants another one. I am not angry anymore. It isn't my place to condemn him for his actions. I don't need to know why. It is over and done with. Life is what is important. The lives of those he left behind...family and friends...his beautiful daughters (ages 16 & 17)... will go on.
Family. It is important to me. I am the baby of the family. There are a lot of years between my oldest brother (the father of the nephew) and me... eighteen years! I grew up with my nieces and nephews. By the time I had a family, the family gatherings became few and far between. Whenever we had a party, I invited the whole family. Some showed up, some didn't. One year I had a birthday party for myself and invited the whole family and a bunch of friends. I'll be damned if they all didn't show up! Sure surprised the hell out of me! And it was a good time. We had my mother's photo albums and loose photos of hers and mine. We have a wonderful time looking through the photos... "Omigosh! I remember this!", "Who is this?", "No! It can't be". Memories flooded the room and we all felt the shared love... what family is all about.
So... after the funeral, I kept thinking about how I could get the family all together at my house. We live in a smaller house but it has an indoor-inground heated pool (sounds much more grandiose than it is!). I threw the idea out at the Polish Prince. His response was, "That's an awful lot of people." He's right, as always. The number of people who would be invited ranges around "55". I know not all of them would show up, but there is the distinct possibility a lot of them might.
My brother who died (a car accident) in 1968, left two small boys (ages 4 & 2). The oldest, his namesake, died at the age of 19 (a car accident). His youngest son had a lot of pain and tragedy to deal with (not long after his brother's death, his mother passed away from cancer). He went through a period of recklessness and drugs. He came to my my mother's funeral and looked so lost and sad. Unfortunately, we lost touch with him for awhile. The next time we met up with him, he was a changed man. He was a missionary/minister in Mexico. He married a local woman, had triplet boys and then another boy. Every few years he comes up to Michigan for a visit and we try to get-together with him. A few of us have, not the whole family. This visit, he requested a family get-together with as many of the family as possible. Some of the family he hadn't seen since he was a little boy, so he was really looking forward to it. Instead, he was re-introduced to the family at the funeral of the one he specifically wanted to see. He was the officiating minister.
So, you see, my heart yearned for a family get-together... an informal gathering... a Pool Party. My mind said it was impossible to pull off but my heart kept nagging me. My Sister and her daughter must have received my psychic output. I received an email requesting that I host a party and they would do all they could to help. How could I resist? So, if all works out, a month from today there will be a houseful of people ...living, loving, laughing, sharing memories and making some new ones. Those who have gone on before us... my mother, my father, my brother T, T's wife and son, my nephew, his mother, and his youngest daughter... will be looking on with happiness and love.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Best Friends for Life
I started this post October 24th, so I thought before I make any more blog entries or work on NaNoWriMo, I better finish this....
Hi! How are you? Gee, it's been a long time since we've had a chance to sit down and have a chat. Anything new and exciting in your life?
It has been 40 days since my last post. Doesn't really seem like that long. My best friend from North Carolina came up here for a visit. She was born and raised here in Michigan, but moved away about 22 years ago. She had only been back once or twice for a short visit. She stayed just a couple days shy of a month.
She got to see the trees change colors. We took a trip to northern Michigan where the colors were in full force. The brilliant oranges, yellows and reds contrasted by the dark green of the pines. She took pictures for her son-in-law who had never seen the autumn transformation. I found it strange, but then she explained... North Carolina doesn't have that. One day the leaves are on the trees and the next day they aren't... they just die and fall off.
She came up here with her car packed full... her clothes, personal items, a variety of projects (quilt [with sewing machine], socks [knitting], towel topper [crocheting], afghan [knitting], pajamas [sewing... pattern, material and machine], Squinkey's stuff (her Chihuahua baby) and lots more. Of course, knowing she was coming to Michigan, she brought gloves but NO COAT! We ended up shopping for a coat at Goodwill where she found a beautiful (like new) heavy coat plus lots more stuff. It was good times at the Goodwill!
We took a day and drove to our old neighborhood. We drove by our elementary school, by some friends house near there, past the house I lived in, the path we walked to school, the streets between my house and hers (where we played softball, football and $5), and finally stopping at the house next to hers (see previous posts). Kathy wasn't home so we left a note and stopped at the coffee shop across the street. We could see the house from our chairs, along with the stores we frequented. She says, "I am surprised we haven't seen anyone we knew back then." Then she says, "Hmpf, maybe they have, but we probably wouldn't have recognized them!" Kathy called while we were just finishing our Lattes so we back to her house. We took a tour of her gardens (took pictures). We stood outside looking at both backyards (side by side) and did a lot of "remember when" while pointing to this or that.
It was kind of weird being in that house again. It hasn't changed much. So many afternoons I sat in Kathy's living room talking to her about school, friends, boyfriends, life in general.... Here I was, once again, sitting in her living room talking to her... but this time, she was filling me in on her family (there were a lot of them then and LOTS more now). Before we knew it, 4 hours had passed! We had one more stop to complete our day. Fat Man's Fish Fry! We ordered lots of our favorites and brought them home to share with the Polish Prince. Some memories are better left undisturbed. Sure didn't taste as good as we remembered!
It even snowed just for her! Well, that's what I keep telling everybody. How do you explain so much snow so early in the season? I guess they get snow down there in NC, but not much and not for long. So she was out early with her camera capturing the moment (which lasted all damn day!). The trees were heavy with the snow. It definitely looked like a Winter Wonderland. I took a lot of pictures, too. We selected the best and sent them via email to her husband and kids.
It was an absolutely wonderful time with her here. We were so comfortable with each other. She helped out when I needed it and even when I didn't! At times we talked non-stop, others we were comfortable with the silences. We worked on our various projects, shared thoughts and ideas, watched television or took turns on the computer.
The time came when she decided she should go back. She said she should go before the snow hit again or she would have to stay until spring... I said, "Yeah, so?" I would have been happy and content to have her stay until then. She might have been happy but she wouldn't have been comfortable... too cold for her. Hell, it's too cold for me but I got no choice!
Deb left for home on Wednesday, October 18th... with a heavy heart, I waved her goodbye. She arrived safe and sound at home on the 20th. Life goes back to the way it was (sort of). We haven't had much chance to catch up online. I think she has lots of projects to finish (some she started while here) and I have projects to finish, NaNoWriMo and a family tragedy to deal with. Which makes me miss her even more.
Hi! How are you? Gee, it's been a long time since we've had a chance to sit down and have a chat. Anything new and exciting in your life?
It has been 40 days since my last post. Doesn't really seem like that long. My best friend from North Carolina came up here for a visit. She was born and raised here in Michigan, but moved away about 22 years ago. She had only been back once or twice for a short visit. She stayed just a couple days shy of a month.
She got to see the trees change colors. We took a trip to northern Michigan where the colors were in full force. The brilliant oranges, yellows and reds contrasted by the dark green of the pines. She took pictures for her son-in-law who had never seen the autumn transformation. I found it strange, but then she explained... North Carolina doesn't have that. One day the leaves are on the trees and the next day they aren't... they just die and fall off.
She came up here with her car packed full... her clothes, personal items, a variety of projects (quilt [with sewing machine], socks [knitting], towel topper [crocheting], afghan [knitting], pajamas [sewing... pattern, material and machine], Squinkey's stuff (her Chihuahua baby) and lots more. Of course, knowing she was coming to Michigan, she brought gloves but NO COAT! We ended up shopping for a coat at Goodwill where she found a beautiful (like new) heavy coat plus lots more stuff. It was good times at the Goodwill!
We took a day and drove to our old neighborhood. We drove by our elementary school, by some friends house near there, past the house I lived in, the path we walked to school, the streets between my house and hers (where we played softball, football and $5), and finally stopping at the house next to hers (see previous posts). Kathy wasn't home so we left a note and stopped at the coffee shop across the street. We could see the house from our chairs, along with the stores we frequented. She says, "I am surprised we haven't seen anyone we knew back then." Then she says, "Hmpf, maybe they have, but we probably wouldn't have recognized them!" Kathy called while we were just finishing our Lattes so we back to her house. We took a tour of her gardens (took pictures). We stood outside looking at both backyards (side by side) and did a lot of "remember when" while pointing to this or that.
It was kind of weird being in that house again. It hasn't changed much. So many afternoons I sat in Kathy's living room talking to her about school, friends, boyfriends, life in general.... Here I was, once again, sitting in her living room talking to her... but this time, she was filling me in on her family (there were a lot of them then and LOTS more now). Before we knew it, 4 hours had passed! We had one more stop to complete our day. Fat Man's Fish Fry! We ordered lots of our favorites and brought them home to share with the Polish Prince. Some memories are better left undisturbed. Sure didn't taste as good as we remembered!
It even snowed just for her! Well, that's what I keep telling everybody. How do you explain so much snow so early in the season? I guess they get snow down there in NC, but not much and not for long. So she was out early with her camera capturing the moment (which lasted all damn day!). The trees were heavy with the snow. It definitely looked like a Winter Wonderland. I took a lot of pictures, too. We selected the best and sent them via email to her husband and kids.
It was an absolutely wonderful time with her here. We were so comfortable with each other. She helped out when I needed it and even when I didn't! At times we talked non-stop, others we were comfortable with the silences. We worked on our various projects, shared thoughts and ideas, watched television or took turns on the computer.
The time came when she decided she should go back. She said she should go before the snow hit again or she would have to stay until spring... I said, "Yeah, so?" I would have been happy and content to have her stay until then. She might have been happy but she wouldn't have been comfortable... too cold for her. Hell, it's too cold for me but I got no choice!
Deb left for home on Wednesday, October 18th... with a heavy heart, I waved her goodbye. She arrived safe and sound at home on the 20th. Life goes back to the way it was (sort of). We haven't had much chance to catch up online. I think she has lots of projects to finish (some she started while here) and I have projects to finish, NaNoWriMo and a family tragedy to deal with. Which makes me miss her even more.
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